Que pasa?

Defenders

I've been in a lot of Internet battles in the 13 years I've been online. The most furious of which have happened on my main blog where I'm pretty opinionated about many things, specially the Philippine comic book industry. It's a part of being opinionated I guess, to have such equally dissenting opinion. Not all the battles have been about comics. Some have been about current events, politics, and even personal issues. I'd like to think that I can pretty much stand up for myself in defense of my opinion. I may get hot under the collar once in a while, but I only do so because I feel so passionately about my beliefs. Sometimes people do jump in and help defend me. Online acquaintances, readers of my work, those who believe the same things as I do. I do appreciate that, but sometimes you just wonder where your friends are.

I've defended friends when they had their own Internet battles, sometimes, at a cost to myself. I've lost friends perhaps prevented future friendships from coming to pass because I chose to defend one over another. I don't mind. That's what friends do, right? I guess sometimes, I wish friends would do the same for me. Perhaps they think I can handle it myself, and like I said, I can.

But it would be a great help to me emotionally and it would encourage me greatly if I knew they were there, because honestly, with the exception of my wife, sometimes I just feel so alone. Sometimes I would like to feel that my friends have my back, not just quietly, but out there where other people can see it. Oftentimes I feel like I'm a nutcase because it seems like I'm the only one saying something. Knowing friends are there would help me feel a little less crazy.

INSANE

My Hey Baby video has taken off and exploded into insane proportions. I can't even begin to describe it. It's overwhelming, if I can be honest. It's great and fantastic, but I don't know how to take all these "Pedo smile" comments. I know most of them mean well, and they're using that term without any malice or any reference to real pedophilia, but it still makes me uncomfortable. I think pedophilia is one of the most heinous, most despicable and horrible things one human being can do to another. For it to be used in reference, however affectionately, to what is by all means a completely innocent video, is incomprehensible to me. People who aren't into this kind of culture will most likely misconstrue the comment and reflect very poorly on me. It's got the potential to be very damaging.

Nevertheless, I also do get comments that I make happy videos that make people smile, and that's what I appreciate the most. Because in a way, that's one of the reasons why I do them in the first place. First of all, creating videos on You Tube is my de-stresser from work. You have no idea how liberating and exhilarating to cast off my normal restrictions on decorum and just go ape. I feel completely free. And when all that's done, I retreat again to my drawing table and disappear into my own thoughts and problems until I make another video. But to get feedback that my videos make people smile and it's their de-stresser from their own problems is an added bonus. That feels great.